I need a an Amazeballs Graphics designer

I need an landing page designed and have come to realiase that the best website designers are not the best designers. So this is why I am looking for a great designer to design my landing page and then for the website guy to make it functional. If you happen to be a great designer AND know how to make it functional - even better. - Must not be prudish as the landing page promotes a testosterone product for men. So if the word 'cock' offends you, then you should stop reading. - Must be able to speak perfect English and read well as you will be given a brief to run with. Thanks, Simon